Sunday, October 8, 2017


It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that I am moving away to a trashy neighbourhood, leaving my- nay, our, precious square foot victory garden behind. We've shared many wonderful, groovy and jovial memories over the years. It makes me tear up just thinking about the times when my square foot victory garden was a baby square foot victory garden, being raised any growing up to living its life as a garden all on its own, out in the world.

I'll never forget such precious blogs such as First tomatoes!!!1!! and Rain. It makes me weep every time I think about leaving our victory garden behind. The guard snakes had to be drowned in the river nearby, for their purpose had been served. The hogs I have finally located and.. disposed of, just weeks before the victory garden is to be abandoned.

Before I leave, I will be leaving my precious victory garden some last bites of fertilizer made with human turds and nitrate powder before we.. say our goodbyes and go our separate ways in life.

In case you're upset about the square foot victory garden, I recommend listening to this very touching song that never fails to make me happier about the thought of my poor victory garden all alone.

I've gone through 8 boxes of tissues just thinking about our precious victory garden being left behind, but a part of me is happy to see how it will grow and develop into the best damned victory garden this world's ever seen, even better than Crockett's pathetic un-victory garden, that isn't even a single square foot!

As this is our final message to you, I would like to address the harassing and threatening comments I've been receiving on my blogs. I would appreciate it if all of you bullies would refrain from your evil ways.

I've already scooped out the last turnips from my garden, and now it's just a matter of leaving our garden for the last time.

But before we close the book on our adventure together, let's reflect back on the journey we've come. Time to share baby pictures of our victory garden!

Here it was when it was just a wee few hours old! Not even a full square foot yet. What a precious square foot victory garden.

Here our victory garden was in its very first home! So full of victory and squared feet.

Here our beautiful victory garden is.. just a few months before it would be left all alone, out in the world of gardens right here in the Garden State for the very first time.

This has easily been the best experience in my bland little life, raising Luke's Square Foot Victory Garden with you all. Leave your goodbyes to the victory garden in the comments below, and I'll be sure to tell them all to the square foot victory garden before we part.

I hope to see my square foot victory garden flourish and continue to follow its dreams.

I wish you best of luck with all the gardens you create.

So long, my victory gardeners.


Monday, July 31, 2017


Sorry I haven't updated in literal years! The hogs have been eatin' away at my precious square foot victory garden. But thankful for me, I got a guard snake. Since my last post in 2013, I moved my garden about 3 gardens (three square feet) to the left and joined a jug-band. I'll try to attach pictures.

The hog corpses have worked as a wonderful fertilizer, I didn't even have to go looking for human turds, nitrate powder and dirt fragments! My beautiful beans and tomatoes have been very ripe and juicy. Can't wait to sink my huge teeth into them and devour them slowly!

A new member of the Square Foot Victory Garden club is none other than the PEPPER! I've also started growing plumpkins in my garden. I usually cut them before they grow to be too large, but once I let one grow to be the size of a beach ball! It was an amazing sight! I was so proud of it that I took a picture of it.

Thanks for your astronomical support for my Square Foot Victory Garden from the bottom of my cold little heart to all 27 of you! I'd also like to give a huge thanks to my inspiration!!

Stay safe my victory gardeners.