Sunday, March 18, 2018

AHOY! THE GARDEN LIVES!

I have returned, friends! And better, I have a new victory garden! I spent hours and hours outside with my yard stick to make sure it's exactly one foot by one foot.

But I also need to take care of my precious garden by giving it what it needs to survive. I've been running around to every gas station in the Tristate Area plucking turds out of the toilets, and the robbing Home Depot of all of it's nitrate powder so that I can get me some good fertilizer. And then after I eat the fertilizer, I just pour cow manure in the garden.

In personal news, I was so rudely kicked out of my jugband because my voice "sounds like my guard snake dying". Who needs them, their voices sound like a thousand tortured souls being released from the Underworld. I'd also like to address the MISCONCEPTION that my blog comment section is a bulletin board for things FOOLISH in nature. Keep your sinning away from my good Christian blog!

I make sure to read all the plants bedtime stories every night. They seem to really enjoy it because sometimes they wither away and die halfway through my stories.

I've been spending a lot of time in Grass City. I've been on the forum, also. And I recently got some advice from my good friend dannyboy. Him and I go way back. My jugband even wrote a song for him, take a listen:


Dannyboy's advice was to rip ass on the plants. Look at all the scientific evidence and support he included in his comment:


It wouldn't quite be a blog of mine without some pictures of my new garden! So here you go!



Anyways, friends, I have to go snuggle my lettuce and tomato plants. I encourage you to write lore and fanfiction about it! Preferably shippings ;)

goobbye frens