Sunday, March 18, 2018


I have returned, friends! And better, I have a new victory garden! I spent hours and hours outside with my yard stick to make sure it's exactly one foot by one foot.

But I also need to take care of my precious garden by giving it what it needs to survive. I've been running around to every gas station in the Tristate Area plucking turds out of the toilets, and the robbing Home Depot of all of it's nitrate powder so that I can get me some good fertilizer. And then after I eat the fertilizer, I just pour cow manure in the garden.

In personal news, I was so rudely kicked out of my jugband because my voice "sounds like my guard snake dying". Who needs them, their voices sound like a thousand tortured souls being released from the Underworld. I'd also like to address the MISCONCEPTION that my blog comment section is a bulletin board for things FOOLISH in nature. Keep your sinning away from my good Christian blog!

I make sure to read all the plants bedtime stories every night. They seem to really enjoy it because sometimes they wither away and die halfway through my stories.

I've been spending a lot of time in Grass City. I've been on the forum, also. And I recently got some advice from my good friend dannyboy. Him and I go way back. My jugband even wrote a song for him, take a listen:

Dannyboy's advice was to rip ass on the plants. Look at all the scientific evidence and support he included in his comment:

It wouldn't quite be a blog of mine without some pictures of my new garden! So here you go!

Anyways, friends, I have to go snuggle my lettuce and tomato plants. I encourage you to write lore and fanfiction about it! Preferably shippings ;)

goobbye frens

Sunday, October 8, 2017


It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that I am moving away to a trashy neighbourhood, leaving my- nay, our, precious square foot victory garden behind. We've shared many wonderful, groovy and jovial memories over the years. It makes me tear up just thinking about the times when my square foot victory garden was a baby square foot victory garden, being raised any growing up to living its life as a garden all on its own, out in the world.

I'll never forget such precious blogs such as First tomatoes!!!1!! and Rain. It makes me weep every time I think about leaving our victory garden behind. The guard snakes had to be drowned in the river nearby, for their purpose had been served. The hogs I have finally located and.. disposed of, just weeks before the victory garden is to be abandoned.

Before I leave, I will be leaving my precious victory garden some last bites of fertilizer made with human turds and nitrate powder before we.. say our goodbyes and go our separate ways in life.

In case you're upset about the square foot victory garden, I recommend listening to this very touching song that never fails to make me happier about the thought of my poor victory garden all alone.

I've gone through 8 boxes of tissues just thinking about our precious victory garden being left behind, but a part of me is happy to see how it will grow and develop into the best damned victory garden this world's ever seen, even better than Crockett's pathetic un-victory garden, that isn't even a single square foot!

As this is our final message to you, I would like to address the harassing and threatening comments I've been receiving on my blogs. I would appreciate it if all of you bullies would refrain from your evil ways.

I've already scooped out the last turnips from my garden, and now it's just a matter of leaving our garden for the last time.

But before we close the book on our adventure together, let's reflect back on the journey we've come. Time to share baby pictures of our victory garden!

Here it was when it was just a wee few hours old! Not even a full square foot yet. What a precious square foot victory garden.

Here our victory garden was in its very first home! So full of victory and squared feet.

Here our beautiful victory garden is.. just a few months before it would be left all alone, out in the world of gardens right here in the Garden State for the very first time.

This has easily been the best experience in my bland little life, raising Luke's Square Foot Victory Garden with you all. Leave your goodbyes to the victory garden in the comments below, and I'll be sure to tell them all to the square foot victory garden before we part.

I hope to see my square foot victory garden flourish and continue to follow its dreams.

I wish you best of luck with all the gardens you create.

So long, my victory gardeners.


Monday, July 31, 2017


Sorry I haven't updated in literal years! The hogs have been eatin' away at my precious square foot victory garden. But thankful for me, I got a guard snake. Since my last post in 2013, I moved my garden about 3 gardens (three square feet) to the left and joined a jug-band. I'll try to attach pictures.

The hog corpses have worked as a wonderful fertilizer, I didn't even have to go looking for human turds, nitrate powder and dirt fragments! My beautiful beans and tomatoes have been very ripe and juicy. Can't wait to sink my huge teeth into them and devour them slowly!

A new member of the Square Foot Victory Garden club is none other than the PEPPER! I've also started growing plumpkins in my garden. I usually cut them before they grow to be too large, but once I let one grow to be the size of a beach ball! It was an amazing sight! I was so proud of it that I took a picture of it.

Thanks for your astronomical support for my Square Foot Victory Garden from the bottom of my cold little heart to all 27 of you! I'd also like to give a huge thanks to my inspiration!!

Stay safe my victory gardeners.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Still plugging away

Geez, it's been more than two years since I posted here.  I guess I've been busy with other stuff, but I'm still chugging away with the garden.  Same setup as pictured below.  Was inundated with slugs last year, but Sluggo and hand-picking got them under control.  Still fighting cucumber beetles and other minor pests.  Weeds are starting to kill me now though, both in the boxes and on the paths between.  But I'm still here, fighting the good fight.

I'll try to get some photos up before too long.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Long time since the last update...

Well, I guess I let this blog go last year. Just a quick update -- while I was in Germany, we had a terrible heat wave and drought. The garden suffered and the overall harvest was about the same as the previous year, but with twice the space, so really not that great a season.

Anyway, I've begun to plan this year's garden and will place my seed order before too long. I'll try to be more diligent in updating this blog also!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

June Update

Things are cranking along. The spring crops are beginning to run their course, and I'm working on replanting some empty squares.

The lettuce is nearly finished. Maybe another week before it's all done. Same with spinach. And I've begun to tap into the last two squares of radishes. I know from last year that radishes planted in June or later here just don't develop, so once this round is finished, I'll wait until Fall for more.

I've erected a makeshift fence to try to keep the squash penned in. It's growing like mad and I have a number of small green squash growing (so I guess the bees did their job). Pulled the single square of turnips that was being enveloped by squash leaves -- got about a pound of turnips from the square.

I have realized the stakes I'm using for cucumbers are woefully too short as the plants are already nearing the top. Oh well, I'll know better next year. But I do have more cucs planted in the pea squares, in hopes that the peas fill finish in time for the cucs to climb the trellis.

I have a number of small tomatoes on the vines now. But I'm still worried about my spacing with these plants -- it's quite a dense mass at the moment and not the easiest thing to maintain.

I will be overseas on business for the entire month of July, so I'm trying to get things squared away so my wife will have an easier time tending to the garden. The good thing is that July is more or less harvesting and pruning with not much planting being done.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


No photos this time -- been pretty busy with other stuff. But the garden is producing nicely now. Steady harvest of lettuce, spinach (though this is nearly finished), radishes, peas, basil, parsley and even a couple small turnips.

I didn't realize how large the leaves of the turnips would get, so had to pull a couple of them to thin it out. Nearly a pound of spinach has been harvested -- the leafminers only put a small dent in the overall yield. Roughly 60 servings of lettuce, 22 ounces of snap peas, a bunch of parsley and many basil leaves have also been harvested.

My broccoli and cauliflower are healthy, but growing more slowly than last year. I was harvesting by mid-June last year, but it's looking more like late June for this crop -- I hope it's doesn't get too hot too soon.

Another small issue -- I thought I planted 2 vining squash, and hoped to train them up 2 stakes. I have 6 squares devoted to them. But as it turns out, this doesn't look like a vining variety. They're getting a little out of control, but are growing like crazy. I'll have to figure out a way to reign them in a bit.

The tomatoes are growing fast now, too. I'm out there pinching suckers nearly every day now. I'm having my doubts though that my spacing and structures are going to be sufficient. I'll try to get a photo next time to illustrate this.

So far, so good. The pests have generally left me alone so far, but I am still spraying BT every 7-10 days.